For the past few weeks our family has been counting down the days until June 14th when school ends. Besides all the typical summer fun, the last day of school brings with it the JOY of ‘no more’ – no more homework, no more bedtime, no more waking up at the crack of dawn, no more schedules, and no more rushing around!
I’ve been so focused on reaching the date that signifies freedom in our family, that I almost missed the real MILESTONE taking place. As the school day comes to an end this Friday, my first born will become a senior in high school (gulp) and my ‘baby’ will become a freshman in high school (double gulp).
A milestone is defined as ‘an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development’ or ‘a stone set up beside a road to mark the distance in miles to a particular place’.
Either way, both the milestone and the mile-stone are used to mark change. But you must first notice the milestone in order for it to impact you. A milestone in and of itself is really quite insignificant. It only becomes powerful when we stop and distinguish it! Regardless of what type of milestone you are experiencing, there are 3 distinct stages to mark a milestone.
1. PAUSE & REFLECT – Since a milestone marks change, it’s imperative to stop and notice the differences between where you were and where you are now. Depending on the specific milestone you are experiencing, pausing and reflecting can last a few minutes, a few days or longer…. and may very likely be associated with a wide range of emotions.
I have been living in ‘pause & reflect’ for almost a week now. Memories of Ben and Peter’s childhood flood my brain so rapidly it makes me feel slightly sick to my stomach. There’s a touch of sadness, wishing I had been more present in the moment, more spontaneous and more concerned with playing rather than keeping a clean house. There’s a little bit of fear, wondering if I taught them all they need to know in order to smoothly transition into this next stage of their lives. There’s immense pride at the depth of character they both exhibit as they are developing into young men. There’s anticipation knowing this next year is such a huge transition; the start of something new for Peter and the end of an era for Ben.
2. BE PRESENT – When you reach the milestone – Be Present! Live in that moment, right there at the mark, acknowledging whatever emotions best reflect the specific milestone. The emotions that coincide with my current milestone are joy and celebration. But if the milestone you are marking revolves around a loss, the emotion more likely would be grief.
The remainder of our week is filled with celebration! The school year consists of structure and rules, so we will commemorate this milestone by breaking some of those rules and hosting a ‘skip day’ (don’t tell on me!) and sleep over (on a school night). Later in the week we’ll have about twenty 8th graders celebrating together in our back yard – swimming, playing ping pong, corn hole, 4-square and basketball! One of our favorite rule breaking traditions is to have dessert for dinner, so before the week is over we’ll be visiting our local frozen yogurt shop to indulge in all things sweet and sugary!
In addition to the celebratory events this week, I will make sure the boys hear the joy in my words. I will shout out an endless number of ‘woo hoo’s’, ‘yipees’ and ‘hoorays’ as well as some heartfelt and not too long winded recognition of their accomplishments over this past year.
3. ADAPT TO CHANGE – After the marking of the milestone has passed, we must not give into the desire to keep things the same and be willing to move into the newness of the future. This begins the journey towards the next milestone . Assuming we afford ourselves the time to fully experience the first 2 stages, this transition should happen naturally.
Next Monday, in the stillness of the morning, when there are no alarm clocks to silence, no lunches to prepare, no permission slips to sign and no sports bags to pack….I will quietly slip out of bed and embrace the opportunity to experience the next phase of the journey with my boys.
When we fail to mark milestones in our life, regardless of how big or little, it is like driving across country and sleeping through the whole road trip! If we aren’t going to take in and appreciate the scenery, we might as well catch a plane instead.
with Joy & Gratitude,
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